A Greek and an Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture. The Greek says, “We have the Parthenon.” The Italian says, “We have the Coliseum.” The Greek says, “We had great mathematicians.” The Italian says, “We had the Roman Empire.” And so on and so...

There’s a lot of history in Baltimore.  Recent excavations have shown it was the site of a caveman colony. The wheel was even invented there . . . but two days later, someone stole the hubcaps . . .  

When I was working in the IT department, the Big Boss said we should be living up to the slogan, “Giving every user what they need!” I politely asked, “How do we get them to turn around so we can kick them in the ass?”

I’m knitting an afghan for a 99 year old woman. I have to work fast.

A three year old little boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.   “Mama,” he asked, “Are these my brains?” Mama answered, “Not yet.”