Dating Crap: Kinda Cute Nerd Needs A Home For The Holidays
Ladies, what we have here is a slightly used and discontinued model of Geek.
Standing 70 inches tall and weighing in at a not svelte, but nowhere near obese 200 pounds, our Geek is less than a half century old. Our Geek is white (summer time it’s speckled white), with thick silver hair on his head. He’s got hazel eyes and a nice smile when you get to making him giggle. (Which is easy to do. No kick starts required as with the older models.)
Our Geek is rather clever, creative, and has an award-winning sense of humor. (Award criteria available upon written request.) He’s a rare model of Geek that actually comes complete with a personality module at no extra cost to you. He has the ability to converse in English, he can use words of more than one syllable, he keeps up his end of the conversation, and is highly trained in “Honey Do” work. (Truth in advertising laws require us to state that he gets a little cranky cleaning gutters and painting. The Geek Handbook recommends provocative clothing and promises of “heavenly rewards” involving lots of close physical activity. These go a long way towards eliminating the model’s crankiness.)
This July 1958 model Geek also has a factory installed Sarcasm module. We’d like to caution all potential owners that sometimes the module will bite, but usually it’s used gently, with winks and waggling eyebrows.
Our Geek has been trained to ride a bicycle and puts in many miles during the summer months. During the winter, the module’s innate crankiness surfaces when forced to get off the bicycle and head to the gym.
Our Geek has reproduced twice and loves his female replications. (“Best work I ever did,” he’s been known to say. Along with, “Can we go to Waffle House?”)
The best home for our Geek will be with a loving, slender lady. Our geek responds well to silliness and goofiness — his Playfulness module is in such fine shape many have said, “Are you sure he’s not 12?”
The lady who is going to be the best candidate for taking our Geek home will have to love to be touched, stroked, and loved on. It’d be in her best interest to every now and again drop her independence and allow our Geek’s full “Loverboy” mode to shift into high gear.
Our Geek’s romance module has been melted on a couple of occasions. Former owners voided the service contact by ignoring the “exclusivity” clause (“Owners will be serviced exclusively by the Geek, no matter how cute a newer model Geek might appear.”) The Geek’s romance module is fully repaired, but prospective owners should ensure their honesty and fidelity cells are fully charged before proceeding with any Geek acquisition.
With love and affection, our Geek will make a great addition to any lady’s home.
Operators are standing by now, so, email us and let us know you’d like to take advantage of our free shipping, free handling, and money back guarantee. That’s right: if you’re not completely satisfied with our Geek, just return him to his original upright position, press his “reset” button, and he’ll find his way back home. All at NO cost to you.
So, ladies, what are you waiting for? You could be well on your way to having your own loving, humorous, slightly dented Geek in time for the Holidays!