“Did I tell you that I’ve found the love of my life?” the hot blonde babe emailed me.

“Oh? No, I don’t think you did. Well, maybe I kind of read it in your blogs. I think you’ve written about 47 blog entries over the last couple of days about how happy you are.”

“Yeah. I was beginning to think I was going to just die alone, y’know?”

“Umm. Yeah. I’ve been there.”

“God, it was just so for-EVAH. That last guy really messed me up bad. I was sooooo broken-hearted.”

“Yeah. Been there, too.”

“Yeah, but you’re always sooooo cool about it.”

“Cool about my heart being broken?”

“Well, duh. Hello? McFly? You were like all broken up and shit. But you just kind of picked up and soldiered on, y’know?”

“Hm. Well, what are going to do, huh?”

“And, it’s like, you’re so funny! You’re always laughing and joking and stuff — women really go for that stuff, you know.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Well, duh again, McFly. If you make a woman laugh she’ll be yours for-EVAH. You’ll be getting all kinds of lucky.”

“Hm. If you say so.”

“But, you know, back to me: I was really freaking out. That last dude I was with, he was such a dick! I didn’t even think I was ready to be back in a relationship with how bad he messed me up and stuff.”

“Mm.”

“I was soooooooo depressed. You know I could only work out twice a day after I dumped him!”

“Must have been rough.”

“But this new guy, you know, he’s really into working out — but on our first date we kind of made up our own little exercise routine! He kind of gets behind me, and puts his arms around me, and pulls me towards him, and I’m supposed to pull away . . . I think he calls it resistance training.”

“Imagine that.”

” :: giggles :: but I don’t really like resisting, you know?”

“So, just how long were you broken up? Wasn’t it about five days?”

“Yeah, I know! It was five whole days! I was soooo depressed! Five whole days — and now I’ve found the love of my life! And the really wild part about it was how I didn’t join any of those dating sites and everything. ‘Cuz I’m always hearing about how folks need to get online and find someone and how it takes forever and . . . I just didn’t have that problem. Do you know anyone who’s doing the online dating thing?”

“Maybe a couple of folks.”

“Oh, serious looooosers they have to be, don’t you think?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe a few folks don’t have your luck in finding someone else that fast.”

“Fast? Dude! It was five whole days! Can you imagine — five whole days without someone who’s in love with you?”

“Wow. Imagine. Five whole days. Wow.”

“Ok, well, I gotta go! You hang in there — you’re still single, right? I mean, you’re being really cool about it. You’re just like, ‘I don’t need anyone, I’m ok eating by myself, I’m ok watching movies on the couch all by myself,’ and shit. I just don’t have your willpower. I like having someone around me and touching on me and holding me and snuggling with me and stuff. I don’t know how you do it!”

“Me neither, hon. Me neither.”